Grrgrll farggle raar – Debrief

After threatening to, I followed through.

INT. IMAX THEATRE – DAY

DAVE and STEVO, their necks unnaturally craned at a certain angle in order to see as much of the HONKING GREAT IMAX SCREEN without inducing whiplash, watch what they hope are the final minutes of “The Dark Knight”.

ON SCREEN where GARY OLDMAN holds his SON tight and intones:

GARY OLDMAN

Because... he’s the hero Gotham deserves – but not the one it needs right now....

ON DAVE as he tries to move his head without it, like, hurting.

DAVE

(thought balloon)

Some chiropractor’s going to buy their next speedboat with this neck.

ON SCREEN as Batman’s BAT-POD streaks through GOTHAM’S UNDERGROUND STREETS.

GARY OLDMAN

... because he’s not our hero – he’s a silent guardian...

ON DAVE as he glances slideways at STEVO – and realises that he is asleep.

GARY OLDMAN

(on honking great imax screen)

... a watchful protector...

DAVE sits up, a lightning bolt of spinal pain lost in an eureka moment --

DAVE

(thought balloon)

I know what he’s going to say!

-- and DAVE’s lips move in sync with --

GARY OLDMAN

(on honking great imax screen)

... a dark knight.

Ah, Mr Hilton. I really should’ve taken the hint when you wrote:

CHRISTIAN BALE IN A RUBBER SUIT flips HEATH?S TRUCK using his BAT-PHYSICS-VIOLATOR, then rides up a wall in order to turn around like a BADASS. FANBOYS in the AUDIENCE cheer wildly for this, even though it looks RETARDED.

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