In the beginning, I didn’t care much for my character’s names. They just were<\/i>, know-what-I-mean? Didn’t serial killers just happen<\/i> to be called Gacy and Bundy? Didn’t Stallone and Schwarzenegger become<\/i> action film brands? So what if my sister and I were named after our neighbours? (And why do people find this amusing?)<\/p>\n
Names are important, though:<\/p>\n
I’ve long since run out of first and middle names of friends<\/a>, family and acquaintances. Unlike John August<\/a>, no streetnames I can remember or think of lend themselves to being affixed to my puppets<\/span> characters.<\/p>\n I have to work at it. But maybe I learnt from the best:<\/p>\n INT. LOUNGE, MY PARENTS’ HOUSE – EVENING – SOME TIME AGO<\/p>\n My MOTHER cradles her week-old grandson, DAVID (not his real name), and makes coo-ing noises. My FATHER peers at the packet of swaddling and wrinkles.<\/p>\n FATHER<\/p>\n What’s his name?<\/p>\n ME<\/p>\n (proudly)<\/p>\n David.<\/p>\n My mother wrinkles her nose.<\/p>\n MOTHER<\/p>\n What sort of name is David?<\/p>\n ME<\/p>\n ‘S a great name – direct and unambiguous.<\/p>\n My father nods slowly and, after a beat, clears his throat:<\/p>\n FATHER<\/p>\n (to child)<\/p>\n We will call you... Safune.<\/p>\n DAVID\/SAFUNE<\/p>\n Gurgle.<\/p>\n MOTHER<\/p>\n (to Father)<\/p>\n He likes that.<\/p>\n ME<\/p>\n (getting a little cross)<\/p>\n What’s wrong with David?<\/p>\n Safune and his grandparents ignore the recently-minted father and leave the room.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In the beginning, I didn’t care much for my character’s names. They just were, know-what-I-mean? Didn’t serial killers just happen to be called Gacy and Bundy? Didn’t Stallone and Schwarzenegger become action film brands? So what if my sister and I were named after our neighbours? (And why do people find this amusing?) Names are … <\/p>\n