Point & Click

Ah, winter. That time of year when staying inside with as many DVDs as your video library memberships will allow would be So Right

Ah well.

(Courtesy of Mr Tripuraneni, The Goddess and I have been ripping through his copy of Battlestar Galactica Season 3. Such focus might be at the expense of the excellent Mad Men but that’s what VCRs are for.)

(And riffing on things television, I’m looking forward to tonight’s premiere of The Jacquie Brown Diaries, from those freakishly talented BunkerMedia boys.)

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The Circle of Life

Ever been at the mercy – or so you think – of someone who can see the Big Picture? You think you can see the Big Picture but you can’t because you’re so close, so intimate, with the material. But you don’t realise this until after you’ve fought whatever battles with that someone – firmly but politely, of course – and you look back and you think, Damn, they were patient with me.

The jandal, as they say, is now on the other foot. From the email-boxes at dfmamea.com:

Yo -- Here is the one-page you demanded I write. And I’ve started on the outline. Satisfied?

dear acolyte

thanks for the one-pager. unfortunately, the story does not work for me.

your one-pager should answer the following questions:

– in one sentence, what is “She-Warrior” about?

– how does the film – not the story – open?

– how does the film – not the story – end?

– what film/s do you want your film to be like? this isn’t a question about your remaking a film you like; it’s about where you see your film heading – is it a Hamburger Hill or a Thin Red Line?

your protagonist’s motivation needs to be more convincing – so she wants to be a soldier: why? why does she want it so bad that she’s willing to risk abandoning her petting zoo, monosyllabic husband and illicit lesbian lover?

Yeah man -- I only wrote that one-pager stuff at, like, two in the morning. It’s only an idea.

what do you mean it’s only an idea? do you mean you have other ideas?

Like, yo, chill, dog – The story in that one-pager you were on my ass about is THE STORY.

oh. right.

now how’s that outline coming along?

I know I’m supposed to be working on that outline but I’ve had a brain-surge! --

I’ve got a theme: “You don’t mess with a bitch’s destiny”. -- What do you think?!

okay.

now how does it apply SPECIFICALLY to “She Warrior”?

Scratch that last email – I’ve just had another brain-surge!! -- Instead of her wanting to join the army, how about if she joins the stand-up comedy circuit!! -- WHAT DO YOU THINK??!!

YOU’RE GETTING OTHER IDEAS!

YOU SAID THE ONE-PAGE STORY WAS THE STORY!

now. a film about a stand-up comedienne could be much easier on the production because there’s no need to get military props, gear, location, etc. more than anything, once the story is set – no matter how familiar it might be at first glance – it becomes a matter of execution.

write what you want to put your heart into, whether it’s soldiers or comediennes or metal-workers-by-day-and-dancers-by-night.

what’s essential right now is that you pin down the story that YOU want to tell. once you commit to filming that story, you will have to see that story right to the end. that means writing it, workshopping it, answering all the questions the actors and crew are going to ask you about it, scouting for it, negotiating for it, prepping for it, paying for it, shooting it, cutting it AND THEN promoting the shit out of it. you’re gonna live that motherfucking story so it better be worth it. you better be prepared to tell it over and over and over AND BELIEVE IN IT each and every goddamned time.

now stop dicking around.

where’s that outline?

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Cribbing

When I was at school, I was pretty good at writing stories. I actually looked forward to writing them. As I hit my teens and averaged 125+ films and videos a year, homework that involved making stuff up was almost as much guilty fun as watching an R-rated film. Whatever the topic, I created exciting and vivid tales littered with the minutiae of tyre pressure fluctuations at 150kph and tactical applications of Glaser ammunition. I toiled over those stories, ensuring their technical perfection. I got good marks for them.

When the essays were marked and returned to us students, we would swap and share our work, checking out the competition and squeezing out as much praise and positive feedback as we could. I like to think I cornered the market on muscular writing. I like to think I had a following – sure, my fans were more the sporty types – a few of which would strongly suggest I write their next essay for them in exchange for my continued existence on this planet – but hey, they liked my work.

The stories that got the girls, however…. They weren’t as technically proficient as mine. They lacked my obsessive attention to detail. Instead, those other stories took a point of view that was confrontational or confounded the reader. Some of those other stories were shockingly vulnerable and personal. I hated the writers of those stories. I envied them and their work. I particularly envied the attention they drew.

Sean Molloy‘s blog, Why I Write has been scratching at my high school PTSD lately. It’s his honesty. With posts like this, I can’t just visualise him as faceless competition who’s half the country away that I can just make nice with. He’s a blogger. And a screenwriter. Just like me.

And so I’ll do just like I did when I spotted real talent in the classroom.

I’ll be very nice to him.

I’ll read his work.

And – very, very quietly – learn.

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Point & Click

I wish the past fortnight’s radio silence has been because of something exciting like negotiating a development deal or meeting multiple deadlines but alas, no: on top of a raft of Real World commitments, I’ve been sick. I’ve got some bloggy goodness lined up for you (that I have to, like, finish writing first) so until then –

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Uh Oh

I’ve started making notes about writing a play.

Aside from my role as Geppetto in a pantomime of Pinocchio a few years back*, the only theatrical background I can claim is a childhood littered with tearful Sunday school performances.

The seed idea is The Goddess’s, of course. It’s based on a situation in which I’m a mere bit player – a walk-on part, really – and it needed her bystanding perspective to recognise its dramatic potential.

What really turned me on to the idea/situation as a play was that mere moments after sketching the concept in four sentences, I could already see the final scene. Not long after that, having decided arbitrarily on a three-act structure, I had titles (names?) for each act. How freakin’ easy was that, baby?

Sixty minutes of theatre. Two, maybe three, ‘locations’ – all achievable (in my head at least) with a stage and some decent blocking. I wouldn’t mind a first draft by year’s end but I suspect this time next year would be more realistic.

Enthusiasm is high, tempered though it is with the acknowledgement of there being only seven days in any given week.

How hard could it be to write a play?**

Highlight of my performance: having called out to the audience, “What shall I name my child?”, amongst the calls for Pinocchio was ‘Snoop Dogg’.

**  Note to readers who have a vested interest in my workload: these are early early early days. Your script is in the mail.

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How the Heck

The Goddess and I watched Almodovar‘s Volver this weekend.

How does he do it? How does he take material that would be passe even for daytime soap and make it utterly compelling drama?

Some research is in order.

(Volver was courtesy of the D-Man who, with Ex-Pat Stephen, introduced us to Sarah Blasko (whose What The Sea Wants, The Sea Will Have has been on the stereo almost exclusively this weekend).)

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A Blessed, Warm Blog

Yes, I’ve been making the odd incursion but time’s been precious lately. Another week and a bit to go.

But because I am a caring pusher, this week I give you a recent Pitch Engine article.

A Blessed, Warm Blog
Or How I Started Blogging and Lived to Tell the Tale

It began, like most of my life-lessons and -events, with the heedless question, How hard could it be?

In 2006, keen to market myself without actually, y’know, marketing myself, I decided to set up a website. Cribbing shamelessly off the websites of John August and Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio, I’d have areas for works in progress, works completed, contact details, and a blog. The first three were easy; it was the blog that had me stumped.

Initially called Rants, I was going to use the blog to tear new sphincters in everyone who’d crossed me, starting with Joseph the Tokelauan classmate at Sacred Heart Primary who dobbed me in to Sister Margerite for being a Methodist. With my keyboard and modem as scalpels of Truth and Justice, I was going to right past wrongs. I was also going to tell anyone and everyone why I was their man for their next project, how I was going to make them filthy rich, and how I could track them down by their IP-addresses if they visited without employing me.

Heady planning days, indeed.

When rational thought eventually returned, I realised that the blog was going to be my public face. As much as I wanted a pound of Joseph the Tokelauan’s flesh, a), it wasn’t relevant to screenwriting, and b), once I’d worked through my shit-list, my career would be over.

A new direction was needed. In a screenwriting blogosphere where professional screenwriters rubbed shoulders with up-and-comers, critics, academics and fans, how could I differentiate myself?

I wasn’t ballsy enough to tell people how to write. I didn’t want to bore people with the finer details – and anyway, who was I to talk? I just wanted… to share. That was it: I would write about what it was like to be a professional but unproduced screenwriter in New Zealand. I called it Indelible Freckles in an absurd reference to my Samoan roots.

How often would I post? A lot of my favourite blogs posted two to three times a week. Most of those people were single, childless, or could afford professional childcare; I was none of the above, so I decided that posting once a week would be a good start. Armed with an internet connection and good intentions, I began blogging.

Eighteen months on, the website ticks along with updates and tweaks as necessary. It’s a no-pressure zone for prospective collaborators and employers to check out my fledgling oeuvre.

As for the blog, the weekly deadline is much shorter than I first thought. Sometimes it has been easier to blog rather than write, justifying to myself that although I’m avoiding work, I’m still writing. And a few times it has been a place to run to and draft missives vowing vengeance aplenty – and, having let it all out, posting a painful but humorous anecdote of Life in the Biz.

The blog is fun. It requires work and commitment. And it’s rewarding, sometimes in ways I never expected.

Just like screenwriting.

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Temptation

Every time I sit down to work on my current project, its deadline bansheeing towards me, I find myself tempted bombarded with just, like, brilliant ideas for another script that I not only can see and hear, but virtually taste, too.

The past few weeks have been, in a word, difficult.

The Universe – ah, The Universe – has kindly pointed out that I am not alone in having this particular weakness: Mr August says You will always want to be writing something else.

Damn.

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Point & Click

Okay, the short didn’t make it into the local festival but – half a kilo of Whittakers‘ finest later – life. Goes. On.

Mm. This week, for your infotainment:

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Box Watch Update – “The Sarah Connor Chronicles”

Encouraged by Mr Reid‘s remarks, The Goddess and I watched the second and third episodes of The Sarah Connor Chronicles the other week. The promising story threads – like the possibility of Summer Glau’s cyborg growing a heart a la T2, and the ticking clock of Sarah Connor’s terminal cancer – were a little undone by small details regarding the ‘mystery’ terminator: if it’s putting itself together Iron Giant-style, how the hell does it ‘see’ to find its missing head? and what happened to the “only living flesh can be temporally displaced” rule, hm?

After the second ep:

ME: That was better than the pilot.
GODDESS: I’ll try another episode.

After the third ep:

ME: Okay, it slid back a bit –
GODDESS: You’re on your own.

Now, with the fourth and fifth eps under my belt, I have these to say about the series:

    • Those annoying little details are accumulating. When you’re about to pull back from recce-ing your enemy’s lair, having a loud argument over what to do next instead of getting the hell out of there is Asking For Trouble. As for Master Connor, after leaving the house in ep two, wanting to save the suicidal teen in ep four, and getting locked in a bomb shelter with a terminator in ep five, is he really our only hope? Not a quick learner, our John.
    • But the storylines have me hooked: how will the black FBI agent put the clues together? who’s got the Turk CPU? how many more resistance fighters and terminators are out there? how much more sentient will Cameron become? how will Sarah get cancer? how’s it going to work with her lover From Before and Kyle Reese’s brother? how many time-travel conundrums can you squeeze into a television series?

It’s not appointment television but I’ll hang in there. Maybe my expectations of a television spin-off of a (two-thirds) great film franchise are a bit high. But if John goes off the reservation one more time, the Connors are on their own.

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