I met with a couple of young writers a few weeks back. They’d completed two drafts, each event accompanied by a sense of fulfilment and great achievement. And after each draft, they’d met with someone like their reader or script consultant or mentor, and their pride and joy, their fruit of sleepless nights, arguments, compromises and exhilarating flights of co-writing, was taken apart in front of their eyes.
They admitted that maybe they were floundering a little. After a few carefully worded questions, I could see they were angry, too. It’s all so bloody personal, they said tightly.
No, it’s not, I told them. It’s never about you. It’s about what you’ve written. Whereupon I joined their reader, et al, in field-stripping their script, along with the following spiel.
Having been on the receiving end of feedback and notes countless times, -. There – right there: ‘on the receiving end’.
That’s the wrong way to look at it: readers don’t have it in for you the writer. They want to like what you given them.
It takes no effort at all to declare a script brilliant or needs work or sucks, and hang up walk away.
A reader – a true reader – puts in time and thought into studying your script. As a nail-gnawing writer awaiting feedback, all you might see of this reading process is the report, laying out what works (and what doesn’t), and most importantly, why it works (or doesn’t).
When I’m wearing my reading hat, the better (or worse) the script, I can turn it around in a few hours; but if it’s damaged (but not irrevocably), or passionate (but muddled), I can easily spend double that time on it. You want numbers? Okay. Let’s say, for a better (or worse) kind of script, it takes me an hour or so to read it, another hour to mull it over, then an hour to formulate what I’m going to say to the writer. That’s three hours minimum that I’m not writing. And if it’s not better (or worse)… don’t tell my manager.
Anyway, back to our young writers where, after I’d laid their script bare, they said, Okay. Um. Thanks. After a few more carefully worded questions, however, I got them started on disputing my feedback.
That’s the spirit! I cried in my besht Connery voishe – but that’s for another post.
Feedback is hard. But necessary. I’ve been getting more into understanding the need for and wanting to give feedback over the past few years, because it’s a way that we all develop.
I reckon the person giving feedback can make it easier by opening with the good stuff, and by asking the key questions/raising the key points, rather than making too many evaluative judgements.
But I reckon the person receiving feedback has to go through the mental shift you’re describing above. It’s not about you, it’s about the work.
But that’s a hard shift to go through. I’m not there yet myself – one of my most vulnerable spots is in receiving feedback…
i’ve a very fine line somewhere in my head where i’m okay when people say I didn’t like it because…, but if the feedback begins with the dread words I think you should…, i have to consciously think, Don’t. Stab. Them.
how feedback is phrased is really important.
but i acknowledge that, for myself particularly, i should take my lumps Like A Man.
I recently had a 2 hour session which was all about me talking it like a man. But it was two of the best hours I will have spent on my script. This person giving me feedback had three typed pages of notes for me. I instantly thought “holly cow! There’s not that much wrong with it!” and “OMG! he spent A LOT of time thinking about my script out of the goodness of his heart.” Through a few of the first harsh comments (he did NOT start with anything he liked, but jumped right into what was wrong) I did feel that flight or fight instinct rising. But then I found that I got engrosed in his comments, thinking about how I could fix things, how what he was saying was DEAD RIGHT. And if I did manage to address even half of these notes, my script would be taken to the next level of goodness. Our meeting turned into a brain storming session, which was completely exhausting, but exhilerating at the same time. We dreamed up crazy things the future will hold (my script set in the future) and philosphphised about life to come, and how this could come into play in my story. Basically, it was AWESOME. I am forever in his dept. I did take the feedback persoanlly in that regard. Not that it was an attack, but that this person cared anough about my story to give it such time and thought. That’s personal. And now that I’ve finished my rewrite, I only hope that it’s done his efforts justice.
I think giving in depth feedback (good, or even better not so good) is a true gift.
bet it didn’t feel like two hours, right?
giving feedback takes a skill – not unlike writing – of thinking how best to be constructive or helpful with what can be unwelcome information. (mm – should keep that thought for a post.)
as for taking feedback – hey, we’re only humanoid. and if we were to stab everyone who said anything nasty about our work, the world would be a less interesting place.
It was actually a three hour meeting. The first hour was a reacp of his life’s work, which he felt he needed to share with us, and honestly, I found it really facinating, even though I did check my watch a few times.
It took me longer to recover from the meeting than the meeting itself. Much wine helped.
I look forward to your post on the art of giving feedback. :)
i’m curious, Lyse: was this person a fellow scribe or a script consultant (or editor or whatever)? did they cost?
i look forward to my post on giving feedback, too!
This person is a writer, director, and has been in the gaming industry for a long time (my script is set in the virtual reality gaming world). He’s also a creature designer, and an amazing artist (digital and real). I could have happily spent more time looking at his work and listening to his stories, except I was aware that I had this one meeting to discus my script, and wanted to make sure we did that. I was VERY, VERY lucky to have him interested in the script at all. He’s been really good to me, and all out of the goodness of his heart, (no fee) and a mutual friend connection. He’s asked me to stay in touch, and to be sure, I will do that! Which reminds me… I must send a thank you gift! What to send… what to send… ?? Any ideas?
regarding thank you gifts… food is always nice.
but i’m food-oriented. like our Dog.