In the beginning, I didn’t care much for my character’s names. They just were, know-what-I-mean? Didn’t serial killers just happen to be called Gacy and Bundy? Didn’t Stallone and Schwarzenegger become action film brands? So what if my sister and I were named after our neighbours? (And why do people find this amusing?)
Names are important, though:
– Elliott & Rossio
I’ve long since run out of first and middle names of friends, family and acquaintances. Unlike John August, no streetnames I can remember or think of lend themselves to being affixed to my puppets characters.
I have to work at it. But maybe I learnt from the best:
INT. LOUNGE, MY PARENTS’ HOUSE – EVENING – SOME TIME AGO
My MOTHER cradles her week-old grandson, DAVID (not his real name), and makes coo-ing noises. My FATHER peers at the packet of swaddling and wrinkles.
FATHER
What’s his name?
ME
(proudly)
David.
My mother wrinkles her nose.
MOTHER
What sort of name is David?
ME
‘S a great name – direct and unambiguous.
My father nods slowly and, after a beat, clears his throat:
FATHER
(to child)
We will call you... Safune.
DAVID/SAFUNE
Gurgle.
MOTHER
(to Father)
He likes that.
ME
(getting a little cross)
What’s wrong with David?
Safune and his grandparents ignore the recently-minted father and leave the room.
