Hongi

INT. DAY-JOB OFFICE – MORNING

Our WRITER is drafting a blog post about the state of his film and television watching when he looks up and --

-- Opposition Leader HON. PHIL GOFF walks through the door.

WRITER

(brightly)

Kia ora!

Phil stops and extends his hand to our Writer:

PHIL

Kia ora.

Writer stands and takes Phil’s hand in greeting but then WE GO TO SLO-MO FLASHES as --

-- Phil won’t let Writer’s hand go --

-- Writer notices that’s he’s being pulled towards Phil by the handshake --

-- Phil drops his head slightly --

-- Writer, hoping the increasing alarm on his face hasn’t shown in these microseconds, realises what’s happening and --

-- Writer drops his head slightly --

-- Phil and Writer hongi --

-- and REALTIME RESUMES as the greeting finishes.

WRITER

Welcome. But you’ve got the wrong ethnicity. I’m Samoan.

Without missing a beat:

PHIL

Ah ha – well, talofa lava.

-- and as suddenly as he arrived, Phil’s gone.

Not often one meets The Man Who. And gets to namedrop so.

Mr Goff is leader of the Labour Party.

And a hongi is a traditional Maori greeting done by pressing one’s nose to another’s.

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