Why I Shan’t Be Tweeting Anytime Soon

Last Thursday afternoon, I was in the South Auckland suburb of Mangere. I’d been in the town centre a few times before but never during business hours.

At 4:45pm, there were people about. The mall complex, previously shuttered and locked up tight like an outpost in Apache country, was open for business. Whatever tiredness I’d felt from the drive south was replaced with anxiety at this unexpected and lively environment. I was hungry. I ventured inside.

Largely for bragging rights (and also, possibly, at some deep subconscious level, for safety reasons), I txted my expedition to family and friends.

From: dfm
To: [group]
Time: 1717
Message: JESUS H CHRIST theres more to Mangere Town Centre than meets the motherfucking eye.

From: DJA
To: dfm
Time: 1718
Message: Oh yeah? How so?

(DJA is a Wellingtonian whose only reference point for Mangere is from how often the media trumpet its crime rate.)

From: dfm
To: [group]
Time: 1723
Message: It’s like Otahuhu but all under one 1970s-era mall/roof. Whats telling about my Kiwi middle class values is i can’t bear the thought of eating anything from any of the local eateries. And my hand hasn’t left my wallet since i walked into this alternate universe.

From: TG
To: dfm
Time: 1725
Message: You actin like a white boy.

From: DJA
To: dfm
Time: 1730
Message: Oh youre so bourgeois!

From: JTM
To: dfm
Time: 1735
Message: LOL! You’re SAMOAN. Pull your head in, boy!

From: dfm
To: [group]
Time: 1738
Message: Have found a friendly Indian eatery called Flambe and shall dine in with my comfort food: butter chicken.

A face that smiled behind a counter. An Indian restaurant/takeaway named in the same spirit as an earlier sighted BBQ Rosti. Butter chicken.

This place, swirling with more shades of skin colour, more open-toed footwear, more ethnic diversity than my usual haunts was a reminder that there’s more to this world than what I bother to notice.

A cue to get out a bit more.

Note: Your txt correspondents were – The Goddess, no explanation necessary; Jenni Tha Muss, fellow Banana Boat conspirator; and DJ Ash, friend and newly-minted father.

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MuthaHUMP

Well that was exciting.

My webhost‘s server packed a permanent sad two weekends ago.

In an ideal world, my webhost would have transferred all his files to a new server, flicked a switch, and I would barely have noticed.

Alas, in the real world, things like pouty former server providers, differing OSes, SQLs and other acronyms, and different providers’ ideas of default settings made life interesting for my webhost. For my own part, my admittedly conscientious offline backups were so much 1’s and 0’s as Restoring them was um, not as straightforward as one might expect. Hence the repeated use of this post’s title in and around Fortress Mamea for the last nine days.

Meantime I got some writing done, woot woot.

Normal transmissions have resumed.

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Being There II

Common practice for radio drama in New Zild, so I believe, is:
– the WRITER knocks together a radio play script,
– the script goes through a couple of drafts between the Writer and the PRODUCER,
– the Producer directs the piece with a bunch of ACTORS in a sound studio under the all-hearing ear of the ENGINEER,
– the Producer and Engineer post-produce (?) the recorded and library audio into an actual radio play,
– and that play gets broadcast on the wireless.

Closet control freak writers (like myself) might notice the lack of the above Writer’s involvement past the writing and drafting stages, but that’s how it is.

Late last year, when a radio play of mine was scheduled for recording, I asked to sit in for two reasons: one, at a couple of technical advisors’ recommendation*, and two, to spend some time in me oul’ home toon. Producer Jase very kindly agreed to my self-invitation.

The first day of recording began with a table read where Jase introduced me to the assembled actors, and everyone – myself included – was guarded in their greeting: the actors had secured the gig so they didn’t have to make too much nice, Jase was the big cheese in the room, and I was just the writer who’d invited himself along. I tried to put them at ease: Any time any of you wonder, “Who wrote this shit?”, I’ll be in the control booth. The room softened a little. And if you have any questions at all, please ask. Nothing in that script is sacred to me – I caught Jase’s expression in the corner of my eye and shifted direction ever-so-slightly – because it’s the story, as directed by our beloved producer here, that counts. The questions started coming. Some of them were quite hard. Some of my forthright answers made Jase wince. I felt useful.

Over the week of recording, I learnt a little bit more about the process – having had a taste here – as I answered more questions, expanded on the story’s environment and characters’ inner lives, dropped and added lines/action/transitions where necessary/possible, and passed on to Jase my thoughts, suggestions and general remarks on each take. Every little bit helps but I believe it was the thoughts, suggestions and general remarks that made a difference.

What I heard in the control booth, and what I heard in my head as I wrote the script often didn’t match.

In my head —
— I wrote a character who I pictured/heard as being a Maori male in his early sixties, overweight with a slightly pompous air.

In the studio —
— the actor that was cast was Pakeha in the same age range, slim with a distinctly ‘white’ voice.

What mattered —
— was that the voice belonged to someone who’d lived a long life, had retirement on the horizon, and who maybe, just maybe, had one last balls-and-all fight left in him.

What matters in the end is whatever best serves the story.

After each take, Jase would turn to me – having first checked with Engineer Phil, naturally – I would invariably nod conditional approval and pass on my notes. And because Jase blessed the production with kick-arse actors, they took their characters places that would never have occurred to me – place that make me look sound good.

I just had to be there.

* Imagination can only take you so far: the play is set in a specific place and peopled by characters I have no experience of. As for my attendance/observation, I merely had to make sure the actors didn’t sound like actors playing at whatever role they were cast in **.

** Note for actors who may be reading this: no, I was not giving line-readings.

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On Writing: Stephen King

Here’s a helpful quote for those confronted with questions like How do you write? and What’s the magic formula?:

You get an idea; at some point another idea kicks in; you make a connection or a series of them between ideas; a few characters (usually little more than shadows at first) suggest themselves; a possible ending occurs to the writer’s mind (although when the ending comes, it’s rarely much like the one the writer envisioned); and at some point, the novelist sits down with a paper and a pen, a typewriter, or a word cruncher. When asked, “How do you write?” I invariably answer, “One word at a time.”

— from Stephen King‘s preface to the expanded edition of The Stand.

(‘Ve just survived another Banana Boat workshop which came straight after a rather frenetic three days in Dunedin – excuses, excuses, I know, but my next craft-y post refuses to make sense. A little nap, perhaps, to clear the sinuses and such.)

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Connect Three

I think my approach to writing is pretty straightforward:

1. Meet JON.

2. Take something away from JON.

3. JON tries to reclaim whatever he lost in 2. above.

4. JON is justly rewarded. Or he fails but we grok his failure (and really, he hasn’t failed – he’s learned a valuable life lesson).

I find that kind of structure comforting.

But when I have something like —

1. Meet JON.

2. Meet ABE.

3. Meet MIKE.

— my chest tightens a little bit: it’s going to be about relationships. I can’t hide behind action defines character. JON, et al, are gonna have to interact.

One must hike one’s girdle and begin typing.

Put bitchy-whiney words in JON’s mouth to ABE about their friend Mike.

Get ABE into the spirit of the session with some colourful words of his own.

Throw MIKE in – but unbeknownst to JON and ABE.

… Mm. ‘S a start.

* Y’know: wi-fi turned off, browser icons tastefully out of sight, iTunes in the background but always within in reach.

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Switch

Screamin’ toward another deadline but here’s some recommended reading for the comics-leaning amongst you – anything by:

Charles Burns
Jason
Dupuy-Berberian
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Homegrown Drama

Sitting down to watch homegrown drama is fraught with the negative reinforcement of many earlier disappointments and – let’s be honest – more than a smidgen still of cultural cringe, all of this tempered by the hope that a) the show’s maybe even half as good as our favourite, and b) we can enjoy it at some (any) level rather than endured as some kind of national duty.

I’ve huzzahed those that we’ve enjoyed. And I haven’t named names of those we haven’t – hey, I’d like to keep my options open on working in this town, thank you very much.

There were some New Zild titles I looked forward to last year:

— The uninspiringly titled This is Not My Life sits unwatched on the harddrive – pushed aside I suspect by the international film fest, getting The Goddess hooked on The Wire, and feeding another addiction*.

Go Girls‘ second season came and went unwatched – but again: thank goodness for voluminous harddrives.

— Yes, it was Outrageous Fortune‘s final season, but we’d tried the series way back when and we hadn’t clicked. (Snippets caught in the intervening five years whilst channel-surfing have provided intriguing glimpses of the chances they’ve taken – chances I’d like to watch; luckily the local have the full run.)

— I have seen something homegrown: I’ve finally just started watching Rural Drift – it jumps the abovementioned queue ’cause there’s personal connections there.

Sooo… what’s there to look forward to this year?

There’s The Almighty Johnsons but I’m struck by the similarity of it’s promotional photo with another production’s pic I bitched about, and I’m not talking about the trees.

… Um.

There was a point to this post.

Can’t for the life of me remember it now.

* I’m a bit gutted it hasn’t been renewed for another season. Where’s the love, hm?

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Box Watch: Suspect Behaviour

With a history of Law & Order and The Shield on my sheet*, one might have safely assumed that I transferred my cop show tastes to CSI, Without a Trace, Cold Case and/or Criminal Minds when the runs of L&O, et al finished. Nuh-uh. The flashwhizzbang-don’t-dare-change-channels style of most of them is not to my taste and even though they’re led by great actors like William Peterson Laurence Fishburne/David Caruso/Gary Sinise, Anthony Lapaglia, and Mandy Patinkin Joe Mantegna there are so many pretty people** in those shows that, well, call me shallow but I find it really annoying. That and they always get their man***.

Which brings me to three reasons why I’ll be trying Minds spin-off Suspect Behaviour:

1. Janeane Garofalo for whom I’ve carried a film and TV torch since The Truth About Cats and Dogs and The Larry Sanders Show;

2. Michael Kelly who first dirtied my eyeballs in The Shield as a nasty wee serial killer, and then showed smarts and compassion as one of the few sympathetic officers in Generation Kill;

3. and Forest Whitaker. Nuff said.

The title may be an awkward mouthful. It may be a spin-off of something I’m dubious about (with dubious reasons, yes). Don’t know who’s behind the camera, or who’s writing it.

But talent like that, in one show, is something I’m not passing up.

* The Wire has largely ruined my cop show enthusiasm – I can now only watch running, shouty, gun-drawing homicide cops with the same detachment that I enjoy Hellboy, The A-Team or Transformers.

** A rather scathing Vidiot review of Cold Case put me off sight unseen (can’t find the link, sorry).

*** L&O cops may have always got their offender, but sometimes they still got away with it in court.

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Say My Name

The Goddess and I sat down to watch some homegrown drama the other night and within two minutes my gut began to writhe, and it wasn’t from overindulging chocolate cake:

EXT. BEACH – DAY

CARL and DI, both in their forties, married twenty years now, walk hand in hand along the sand, as they admire the beautiful sunset.

DI

Carl?

CARL

Yes, Di?

DI

Do you love me, Carl?

CARL

Why do you ask, Di?

Riddle me this: when you talk with your partner/lover/friend – acquaintance, even – who you’ve known for a minimum of six months, do you say their name with every sentence directed at them?

Didn’t think so.

Then why do I keep seeing it in homegrown drama?

Why can’t exchanges just be:

EXT. BEACH – SUNSET

DI

Carl?

CARL

Mm?

DI

Do you love me?

CARL

What the hell kinda question is that?

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On Writing: Peter O’Donnell

Here’s a refreshingly down-to-earth description of ‘breaking the story’:

The location for a story is fine. Now all I want is some bad guys and a plot. Ah yes, a plot. Well, I’ve found that by reversing some simple element in the opening of an old story you can create something entirely diffeent in its development. For example, I must have written quite a few stories that open with Modesty saving somebody’s life, so why not reverse that? How about opening with somebody saving Modesty’s life?

So who is it going to be, man or girl? Could be both, I suppose. Young married couple perhaps. That feels all right up to a point, but how does Willie fit in? Ah yes, let’s give it another twist – the girl saves Willie’s life, risking her own. Make that highly visitual. She’s the action seeker of the couple. Husband’s a gentle giant type, very dim but lovable.

All I need now are the villains. They could be after something the couple have or know about. Like what? I’ve no idea, but I’ve got enough to start scripting, and all the rest will emerge as I go along and as the characters come to life. It always does.

— from Peter O’Donnell‘s intro to his Modesty Blaise: Yellowstone Booty reprint – a lovely title (and likely reason I picked it up from the local).

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