Scriptwriting

27 November 201227 November 2012

Half-arse

I have four half-finished posts sitting in the Drafts section of my blog.

I have started each one with good intentions – or a fiery nigh-biblical consumerist anger – but half-way or so through each draft post, I have lost the thread, or the idea, or my way.

But I think it’s okay because my ‘proper’ writing is progressing okay. I confess that a lot of the past fortnight’s silence has been due to bracing for a public reading. There are a couple of other projects bubbling away that I’ve been juggling, along with the day job.

So… I guess this post is a placeholder. Back in a bit.

30 October 2012

Hoo

So I’m not even a minute into this yarn when a smile begins to form. Five minutes in and I realise that all the testesterone-spiked Yeah‘s and awe-struck Whoa‘s are coming from the film’s heroes rather than the couch.

I’m sure the film is ~~cueing~~ training a new generation of action film aficionados but I feel a little obsolete.

27 October 2012

Portent

I’m getting a little sick of those situations where a BOY and GIRL, already in a relationship, has stuff happen to either of them – y’know, the A plot – when:

EXT. SOMEWHERE – SOMETIME

BOY is doing something that occupies his mind.

There’s a KNOCK on a DOOR – it’s GIRL.

GIRL

I need to talk to you.

— or —

INT. BOY’S FLAT – SOMETIME

BOY answers PHONE:

BOY

Hello.

GIRL

(V.O.; filter)

It’s me.

BOY

(smiles)

It’s you.

GIRL

(V.O.; filter)

We need to talk.

– and nine times out of godsdamned ten, GIRL is pregnant.

This is about as annoying as the good ol’ I’ve-got-something-to-tell-you-but-I-can’t-over-the-phone-so-let’s-make-a-time-to-meet-which-I-won’t-make-because-I’ll-be-dead-by-then.

I have a vague memory of an interesting execution of this plot point. Went something like this:

INT. DINER – EVENING

BOY and GIRL, out on a date, share a MILKSHAKE. In between milkshake slurps and giggles:

GIRL

That movie was so funny!

BOY

Yes, it was – my stomach hurts from all the laughing –

GIRL

Funny you should mention stomach pains –

She smiles.

He smiles.

GIRL

I’m pregnant.

Who saw that coming?

21 October 201224 October 2012

Gild

Okay, (I suppose) I’m excited about the upcoming third season of The Walking Dead when one of the publicity stills caught my eye:

Compare that to our introduction to her in the comic:

Am I being nitpicky in thinking, What’s with the Masai She-Warrior shit?

14 October 2012

Oh Alright Maybe

A flurry of Facebook comments from Stevo and Motorbike Steve about the return of The Walking Dead behooves me to confess that The Goddess and I started watching the second season a while back and got two eps -, no wait, three -, hang on.

… Whoa. Okay. Disappointment in the second season was so deep that it wasn’t even entered into my viewing diary.

I’m as shocked as you are, believe me.

But back to the story. We got however many eps into the season and She turned to me and said what I’d been thinking for all the eps subsequent to the season opener: This is boring. So we stopped.

The Walking Dead - Michonne — Michonne and travelling companions (“The Walking Dead” #19).

But Season 3 beckons with the promise of Michonne and the penitentiary arc and… godsdammit, that arc was just mindblowingly awful (but in a good way) that I just have to relive it, and it’s been too, too long since we’ve had a bad-ass no-nonsense African American heroine like Strange Days‘ Mace.

Strange Days - Angela Bassett — Angela Bassett as Mace in “Strange Days” (1995).

Yeh okay, I’m in.

7 October 2012

GOODBYE MY FELENI – 15 June 2012 Performance

It’s on Youtube until 31 October 2012.

4 October 20124 October 2012

Insert

NOVELIST

My measure of progress is the number of words I can get down on paper. A good day is 500 words.

What’s your target word count?

NOVELIST

(shrugs)

Anywhere between 80,000 and 150,000. How about you screenwriters?

Page count is our measure. Y’know: 30ish or 60ish for a half-hour or one-hour TV show, 90-120 for a feature.

NOVELIST

(nods)

And when you’re part way through a script? What’s a good day?

A good day is five pages that I don’t want to set alight.

(off Novelist)

A bad day is when I resort to the “Insert Page Break” feature.

22 September 2012

Hounds RIP

(Before you lot get excited, this post is about the TV show, not the departure of one or more of our menagerie.)

A little while back, I got an outta-the-blue email asking if I was interested in plugging (or not plugging) an upcoming TV show. That, my Beloved Readers, is one of the mean reasons why I’ve clung onto this blog: for free shit.

There were a few hiccups along the way – including a greyhound by the the name of Lundy–~~bain~~–dixon–watson who needed some audio finessing – but the show was assured, low key and damned funny.

How funny? The Goddess, The Girl (who’s at university now) and I watched the pilot and we all laughed. Not together, mind: we each found something to laugh out loud at. From a crowd that was a hard one to begin with – when I suggested it for a viewing the looks from my fellow viewers-to-be were none-too-friendly – that was something to hold on to. And it wasn’t just us – the critics liked it, too.

Of course, it was programmed to screen at 10pm on a Friday night.

And, of bloody course, it got cancelled.

It’s out on DVD now: a damned fine Kiwi comedy that I’ll proudly be adding to my library.

Go on: try it.

8 September 2012

Another Letter to Aaron Sorkin

Dear Mr Sorkin

Further to my letter of 23 October 2007.

Your latest show, The Newsroom, has graced our screens and I want to say a couple of things: thank you, and welcome back. We’re enjoying the show, and we’re glad to hear there’s a second season due next year.

It’s nice to have you back on the small screen, Mr Sorkin. We missed you.

Yours sincerely

David Mamea

Post script: Some people have taken issue with your self-plagiarism.

You know what? I find it very comforting.

29 August 2012

Gone Soft

Channel-surfing earlier in the month led to us tripping over a Law & Order ep. Jack McCoy was now the District Attorney; reporting to him were new faces Cutter and Rubirosa. Anita van Buren was still the lieutenant down at the 27th Precinct – she had her own new faces in the form of Lupo and Bernard.

Curious, we tuned in.

The ep’s A story followed the detectives, soon augmented by the district attorney’s office, as they raced to track down an online blogger preparing for a big and messy shooting spree. Y’know: the usual L&O stuff that is so slick and smart and fast it still makes the majority of cop shows out there dumb and slow.

The B story was more interesting in that it followed van Buren (S Epatha Merkerson) as she underwent some scans for what we presumed was cancer. We learned more about her in this one ep than we had in the preceding decade and a half of (admittedly occasional) watching. Something was up – especially since the ep ended on her getting the results of her scan and showing us her reaction.

“That’s not right,” I said to my Goddess as the credits rolled. “They’ve gone soft, they have.” She nodded and yawned and picked up her briefly forgotten horseriding book.

A quick google to get to the bottom of this abberation revealed that the ep was the series’ finale.

Ah. Well.

Just this once, then.