Monkey See

The scene is familiar: our Hero Detective’s supervisor – a lieutenant in an American show or a superintendent in a Commonwealth show – having had his arse chewed out by his superior, seeks out our Hero Detective in the bullpen.

Spotted recently on the box:

INT. DETECTIVES’ BULLPEN – DAY

Detectives are scattered about the open-plan office, a hubbub of conversations throughout.

Our Hero Detective’s supervisor, THE SUPERINTENDENT, strides through the entrance:

THE SUPERINTENDENT

Where’s Hero Detective?

RANDOM DETECTIVE

He’s on a call, sir.

THE SUPERINTENDENT

(fumes)

Get him to see me when he comes in.

RANDOM DETECTIVE

Yes, sir.

As The Superintendent heads for his office, the Random Detective turns to a colleague:

RANDOM DETECTIVE

(sing-song)

Someone’s in trouble!

I was like, WTF? What happened to this oldie-but-goodie:

INT. DETECTIVES’ BULLPEN – DAY

Detectives are scattered about the open plan office, a hubbub of conversations throughout.

Our Hero Detective’s supervisor, THE SUPERINTENDENT, strides through the entrance:

THE SUPERINTENDENT

Where. The fuck. IS HE?

The bullpen is silenced, its occupants afraid to move or speak.

THE SUPERINTENDENT

I want him in my office NOW!

The bullpen springs into action as --

-- The Superintendent continues to his office and SLAMS the door behind him.

Sure it’s a cliche that’s been parodied endlessly, but at least it doesn’t look and sound like a bunch of school kids hearing that Mr So-and-So is on the warpath.

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