Monkey See

Let’s say you’re writing a thriller where your heroes are forced to take one of their own to a hospital, and for whatever reason the authorities MUST NOT KNOW whatever the hell they’ve been up to.

How d’you wanna play the hospital trip – straight or strange?

Straight:

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

A REGISTRAR and a COUPLE OF NURSES push a gurney into the EMERGENCY ROOM, away from --

-- PATER FAMILIAS – yes, the rather bullish father of the victim in the E.R. – and his colleague, a scantily clad SEXPOT.

SEXPOT

(off Pater)

He’s in good hands –

The RECEPTIONIST approaches with a SHEAF OF FORMS.

PATER

(re. Receptionist)

Oh shit. What do we say?

Sexpot grabs his arm:

SEXPOT

(flustered)

I don’t know.

INT. ROOM – THE NEXT DAY

Dozing in a VISITOR’S CHAIR, Pater starts at the sound of --

-- his INJURED SON gaining consciousness with a groan.

PATER

It’s okay, son, I’m right here –

Injured Son sees his surroundings, eyes widening, and grabs his father’s arm:

INJURED SON

(remembering his injury)

What did you tell the doctors?

— or Strange:

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

REGISTRAR and NURSES run a gurney into the EMERGENCY ROOM, away from PATER FAMILIAS and SEXPOT.

SEXPOT

(off Pater)

He’s in good hands –

The RECEPTIONIST approaches them with a SHEAF OF FORMS.

PATER

(re. Receptionist)

Oh shit. What do we -?

Sexpot squeezes his arm, silencing him as she smiles brightly at the Receptionist:

SEXPOT

Are those for us?

RECEPTIONIST

(startled)

Y-yes. Those were quite the injuries –

SEXPOT

Oh, young boys these days – juggling chainsaws. While bus-surfing. And mooning a van of nuns. I mean, REALLY.

What we have from the ‘straight’ version is a worry-wart father and weak-sister girlie character – understandable but BORing.

But in the ‘strange’ version, who’d’ve expected a ballsy quick-thinker underneath Sexpot’s push-up brassiere and peroxided bob?

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4 Replies to “Monkey See”

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